The Vertical Smile: My Most Embarrassing Moment – What Is Yours?
We all have the most embarrassing moments, but I think mine pretty much tops them all.
When I was about 13, my family went to visit my Uncle Steve and Aunt Nancy. I’m not sure if I had ever met them before, or if I had, I didn’t remember them. They never had any children so I assumed that we would pass our weeking sitting at their house watching their cats lick themselves. I was so wrong, we passed the best three days of our lives and still crack up thinking about them.
The morning of the ‘event’ started out great, My aunt Nancy made us english tea with milk and sugar and we all decided what we were going to do. They lived in colorado and planned on taking us to see some interesting rock formations. So we headed out of the house to check out the rocks. We ended up going on a tour and at the end of the tour they mentioned a second tour called ‘spelunking’, which is basically exploring underground caves. My mom, aunt and sister had no desire to go but I’m a tom-boy, so my dad, uncle and I decided to give it a try.
We didnt have the required clothing, so we ran to a second hand store to buy what we needed. Once we got back and signed up for the tour, they informed us that we had to pass an obstacle course to make sure we were all physically fit enough to explore the underground caves. The course basically consisted of some monkey bars, some ramps going up and down, a bar you had to pass under and a medium sized window frame that you had to pass through. Well, I ripped through the course like a flash, then my uncle (who is as thin as a string bean) just like me. Well, then it was my father’s turn. My dad is a tall, ‘full figured’ man. So he made it through that course just as fast as us, that is, until he had to pass through the window frame.
Well, he made it into the frame…he just couldn’t make it out! He was stuck! He started yelling “give me a push Steve! Steve, just push me!”. When that didn’t work, he made the worst possible choice that none of us will ever forget. My dad says “Steve, take off my belt and pull me through!”. Well, my Uncle Steve did take off my dad’s belt, and in the process of trying to ‘pull him through’ my dad’s pants, AND underwear, fell down.
We all stopped and stared in horror and my dad says “Well folks, Have a good look at my vertical smile!”. The tour owners felt so bad, they let us all go on the tour even though my dad didn’t offically pass. I will NEVER forget that day! It was definitely one of the %link2& I’ve ever experienced.
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